Friday, August 17, 2012

I'm not sure one can call themselves a blogger bloggette when they go weeks without posting and when they do end up hitting the 'publish' button it's just some random rant with ZERO substance.

Yes it's been awhile since I spilled the Sara beans so I'm going to take this nap time opportunity to confess some summer slip ups...

- I flossed my teeth with hair. Sure it was my hair - freshly washed that morning - but gross nonetheless. Background story: I was in a change room trying on some hugs-me-in-all-the-wrong-places maxi dress and noticed I had remnants of breakfast stuck in my teeth. The fingernail wasn't doing the trick, I didn't have any dental floss in my bag, there were no loose threads on my clothing and so I went with Plan 'D' - a few strands of hair. Desperate times call for desperate measures and surprisingly it did the trick.

- I'm a super ungrateful wife. Like when Trev's not working 10-12 hour days I gripe about money, but when he's working 60+ hours/weeks I complain that he's never home. I swear there's just no pleasing me especially now that he's spending all his free time on the reno that I asked for. If you could only hear my weekly sob story about not having anyone to help with the kids or chores. Bet he's regretting his romantic proposal right about now.

- Gabe's baby book is empty. As a second child myself I'm horrified by this. Saige has not 1 but 2 albums highlighting her first year and over 2000 photos (sadly that's not even an exaggeration). Gabriel on the other hand gets a few lame blog entries and some over filtered instagrams. Poor kid. I'm trying to convince myself that he's a boy and he won't care that there's basically no evidence of his existence.

- I don't fold laundry anymore... or put it away. In our 'already too small living room' sits 6+ baskets of clean clothes just waiting for me to get some motivation (and it's gonna be waiting a long a$$ time). Like a bunch of savages we've resorted to rummaging through the piles looking for a wrinkly something that'll fit. I like to call it a modern day scavenger hunt. Oh and my idea of ironing these days? a spray bottle + body heat, try it.
oh and this is my closet :(
- Running errands with kids is my present day nightmare. It's not that they're ill-behaved, it's the buckling & unbuckling that kills me (especially when I have 3 or more stops to make). I always think, "how do moms with 3+ children do this? aaaand stay sane?!" Like my girlfriend with 3 year old twins and a new baby? My idea of a parental paradise is a city with drive-thru everythings.

- Gabe's still in his bucket seat. I find this ha-larious considering Saigers was out of her infant seat by 7-8 months and forward facing at a year (bad parent alert). The portable car seat is just so handy when he falls asleep or gets transferred over to Dean or the grandparents. That being said, I think we're going to make the switch at 11 months as Mr. Gabriel finally hit the 17 lbs mark. Did you know there are 3 month old babies bigger than our G-man?! and that had a tremendous sale on Diono car seats.

- I've spent more on car seats than I did on my first car. At $300 a pop (x 5) it adds up quick. All you teens out there having unprotected sex - and get yourself a Fiero. Not only are they cheaper than babies, they don't keep you up at night or puke on your Abercrombie & Fitch hoodie (plus they'll look super fly out in your high school parking lot).

- When I was 17 I got a tattoo... and thanks to Groupon my drug leaf tat (that was supposed to be a Canadian maple leaf) is getting lasered off. Here's another teenager tip for ya: before entering a tattoo parlor, know what you're gonna get. Permanent ink is no laughing matter although my red marijuana leaf is the bud of many-o-jokes (ba-bum-chuh!) See here.

- I sometimes eat chocolate before 9:30 a.m. and by sometimes I mean once a week... at least.    



Momma@Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out said...

Oh man. Lets hang out. I have flossed with my hair. I have complained about the hubby not being around more than I care to mention. The laundry gets thrown into the baskets unfolded. And I avoided outings with my kids for a very long time.......xo

Jena said...

The second child never gets documented as well as the first! It's just a fact of life. Then when you have a third you will swear to yourself you'll be better, but don't believe it! Lol. As long as clothes are clean that's a major plus in my book!

Meagan Cleary said...

Yeah, I sort of thought of the hair-as-floss thing as more of a standard backup plan and less of an embarrassing confession.. so I guess that's my embarrassing confession ;)

Lindsay Slobodzian said...

I thought those 3-in-1 car seats did the trick?! I have no clue-kidless gal here. Never tried hair-floss, I usually do the water swish, as I always need to have water with me, I have this thing about being thirsty, I hate it!

E said...

Oh how I LOVE your confessions!

Anne said...

I'm literally laughing out loud. Oh, how I love you.


This is the best birth control post I've ever read. As soon as I catch baby fever, i'll be sure to hit you up for advice.

Happy Saturday!

hazyshadesofme said...

Love it...pure brilliance!

Alyx said...

LOL I can't believe you flossed your teeth with your hair. Even more, I can't believe it worked!!! I just might have to try it. but don't tell anyone.
Your kids are so cute. I'm dying.
A Wal-Mart drive-thru. How amazing would that be?
HA! Red marijuana leaf. At least you're getting it lasered off. You should let me know if that's painful.
Thanks for linking up.

Randalin @ Harvesting Kale said...

I have missed these posts so much!!! Thanks so much for the laughs. Picturing you flossing your teeth with your hair is both hilarious and revolting. Please tell me you plucked a few strands from your head to do this. Also, know I'm just teasing - I'm sure I've done things equally as disgusting.

Thanks for the heads up on the sale. Kale hit the rear-facing height limit on his current seat and I've been scouring the internet for sales on that exact seat.

Mia @ The Chronicles of Chaos said...

Runnings errands with my kids are my present day nightmare as well, lol. And I only have 2, so I don't know how you do it! I would love a drive-thru everything. Post office especially! :)

Sandra Kohlmann said...

1. You're not alone in the complaining department. When Steve took his current job, I knew it meant I'd be able to stay home with the girls, but I also knew it would come with LONG hours. I am so grateful, but sometimes, I just don't want him working 12-14 hours a day. I get impatient, and then things get ugly and gigantic apologies are necessary.

2. I think you're winning in the carseat department, as long as Gabe's still within the height/weight limit for his current seat. We never did infant carriers, but my littles are still rear facing, in their convertible seats, at 27 months. It's one of the big wins when you have a tiny child (C and V are just 24-ish and 27-ish pounds, respectively).

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