Sunday, February 3, 2013

It's Sunday, but since I only update my blog once a week - twice if I'm lucky - I figure some of you will read this on a Wednesday and E's visually appealing link up banner will make total sense. For the rest of you, I'm sorry.

1. I have a love/hate relationship with trends. I either (a) have to eat, breathe, sleep   (insert latest fad)    or (b) want to gouge out my eyes every time today's hottest craze is waved in front of my annoyed face. For example I'm ALL over the blogosphere's recent love affair with triangles (couldn't be more smitten with an isosceles equilateral if you paid me), but if another one of my favourite bloggettes uses "it's the little things" to sum up a post, I'm going to throw up my cookies #seriously. It's almost as bad as my previous nemeses, "I know right?" or "totally amazeballs".

2. I'm the biggest hypocrite and will likely forget my above rant and hashtag itsthelittlethings on my next Instagram of Saige hugging Gabe. Maybe it'll get me my first piece of hate mail (something I'll likely print and frame).

3. Speaking of trends, can I tell you how much I want to scream "re-do!" every time I walk by an amazing plaid shirt. Where the EFF were all these cute checkered shirts back in May when I was shopping for our camping inspired photo shoot?! I must have flipped through every freaking sales rack in Vernon before finding ONE thrifted flannel number in the petite section of all places! I'm typically a medium so it's x-small tag was much too short and much too tight for my non-teeny frame - "RE-DO!" is all I'm sayin'.

4. I can't believe I just uploaded a photo of arrows highlighting my thighs and ass. How can you tell I'm beyond caring? 

5. I've never been hit on; and if I have, it couldn't have been that awesome or obvious because I don't remember. That'll teach me for surrounding myself with beautiful friends (and bringing them to the bar with me back in my single lady days). 

6. In the last 72 hoursI've eaten an entire box of digestive cookies {the good kind where one whole side is covered in chocolate} to myself. I'd like say Gabe helped, but if I'm being totally honest, he only got one a half. What can I say? I've never been all that good at sharing.

7. You'd never know by my above eating habits that I have a suitcase at the foot of my bed containing nothing more than swimsuits, snorkel gear and sunscreen. Maybe my white cellulite will get hit on by polite Mexicans looking for pesos?

8. Gabriel's shocking red hair is not the only thing turning heads these days; that high pitched scream (the one he came out of the birth canal with) is getting A LOT of unwanted attention and me no likey. His shrill protests are loud and piercing and have me apologizing all day, every day. A man literally cupped his ears at the ski hill this weekend in response to Gabe's 'don't you dare pick me up' tantrum. He seriously sounds like the most spoiled baby ever making Trev and I look like the worst parents ever (especially when we ignore his outbursts with well rehearsed smiles, pretending we're not 3 seconds away from losing it ourselves). We keep telling ourselves, "it's just a phase - a really long 16 month phase that's sure to pass".

9. Saige has sucked the fun out of shopping for clothes. She refuses to wear anything remotely girly which includes: all dresses, all skirts, shirts with ruffles, sweaters with hearts, leggings with lace, etc. Her closet is FULL of sweet floral rompers and little pastel cardis and she could... care less. If it's not a graphic tee or sports jersey or collared shirt, she's not wearing it, period, end of story. Go ahead and laugh while I use her sparkly UNWORN tutu to mop up my mom tears. I wish her tears about not being able to wear what she's most comfortable in and my own parenting values on encouraging individuality didn't interfere with my preschoolers wardrobe. 

10. My BFF/co-worker who graciously agreed to come along with me on a sketchy home visit fell down the client's stairs! She made a horrifying thud and all I could do - after we left the house of course - was laugh... uncontrollably. Picture a hyena trying to ask if someone's alright mid-manic giggle and that's me. I don't know why I think people hurting themselves is so funny, but I do.

I'm going to H-E double hockey sticks.

See ya there ;)


Sandra Kohlmann said...

Triangles. Cute family pictures. Cookies. Owning more than one swimsuit. Gabe's red hair. Saige's awesome sense of style. A good laugh. See? It's the little things.

Just kidding. I'm terrible with trends. I scare kids out of the pool, when I show up in a bathing suit. I eat obscene quantities of cookies. Every week. My kids can throw a mean tantrum. Times two. My daughters will wear any clothes I put on them, but seeing as I am a potty training failure, they pee their pants two seconds later, and end up in something mismatched everyday. Yesterday Veronica rocked too hard in the little rocking chair she was in, and tipped backward onto the floor. I laughed. I'm the worst mom ever. Oh, and I didn't go grocery shopping over the weekend, so I have nothing to cook for a Meatless Monday post. Oops!

How is that for some Monday morning confessions.

E said...

LOVE you! Seriously. Thank you for some mid-morning laughs! :)

Alison said...

Usually my love for fads comes AFTER they have been cool. I'm always late to the party. At least skinny jeans have been cool long enough now for me to be cool while everyone else thinks they're cool!

Kait said...

I am terrible with fabs. I am terrible with style. Basically terrible at dressing myself. At least you have that!

Also, I laugh all the time when people get hurt. When casino royale came out, IN THEATRES, I killed myself laughing at the naked chair scene. Yea, definitely not a good date situation.

Hazy Shades of Me said...

Ok, I can relate to many of these confessions, but seriously, #6, I do all the time, like, daily, all the time.

#9: after 2 boys you can imagine how thrilled I was to get a little, pink, girl. Except we didn't quite see eye to eye. ALL she wanted to wear once she hit two, were her brother's clothes. Not even girl boy clothes...only boy boy clothes would do.

And #10...please don't tell your BFF (cuz I'm sure she doesn't read your blog...!), but I was laughing before I even got to the part where you were laughing. My husband says I'm sadistic and have a sick sense of humour because any time anyone falls or gets (mostly minorly!) hurt, I laugh! When I was 14, I was riding my bike to Canadian Tire with MY bff to buy badminton rackets (you needed to know that)...she was in front of me and the next thing I knew, she was ass over tea kettle or err, handle bars and honestly, as I type this, I am cackling cruelly. CARS were stopping to ask if she was okay and I couldn't even talk to the people...horror.

Don't you love when I comment on your posts? Always sooo long and always allll about me. In a fact to face group setting, I'm the quietist one. I swear.

Hazy Shades of Me said...

God, it looks even longer once published. And that would face to face...fact or not! ;)

Danielle Hardy said...

I am so with you on the hashtag thing. I'm all about hashtags but when they look like this #soblessed #lovemyfamily #pouringintothem #lovemyhusbandmoreeachday I kind of want to throw up. I know its cynical but I just can't stand it.

Erinn T said...

i kinda want to write you that hate letter just for you to have it framed, but i kinda like you just too much to do it. also, after this witty post, anything i write to you would be put to shame.

but as you know "it's about the little things my friend" ;)

keep up the rants. i seriously come here whenever i need a laugh!

Johann Wolfgang von Goetheb Quotes said...

What is important in life is life, and not the result of life.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Carol@TheDesignPages said...

How about cray cray? That one makes me want to reach right into the computer and slap someone. I always insist that nobody has hit on me in the last 10 or 15 years and my friends so I"m oblivious when it's happening. So I guess it's dependent upon your definition of "hit on". Hope you're having a super fantastic time my friend.

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